The best predictor of psychotherapy outcome has to do with the quality of match between therapist and client. When we first meet, we will both be assessing whether we think I “get” you and have the expertise to help you. The purpose of the therapy is for you to feel better in your life, and this begins with choosing the right match for a therapist.
Individual psychotherapy is a process of the two of us creating and utilizing a relationship that maximizes understanding you better, so that you can make those changes needed to be a happier, more satisfied person. We will notice how you feel as you talk and what happens inside as you feel. Together, we will create an increasingly accurate understanding of who you are: how you lived through certain events; how people relate to you and you to them; your values; your way of being in various situations and with various others. We can look at what it’s like when we talk in certain ways in order to learn how things are for you. We will figure out together the advantages and disadvantages of the various ways you have of being you. We will plan together and have you try what you might do differently so that you can be the “you” that makes better sense and works better for you.
In couples therapy, we will identify how the system in which you operate is functioning. Together, we will construct an understanding – including by observing what happens in the room – of your emotional reactions to each other. We will likely identify the history of your relationship; your personal histories, values, priorities and styles; the intricacies of how you manage relating to others; and your growing edges. What do you want to be happening? Together, we will imagine, then test, then rehearse new ways of being that create something different and worthwhile when you relate with each other.